be happy NOW

Woah, the first quarter of the year is almost done!

Yesterday, I felt the need to blog and pour into writing what I've been thinking as of late. This could be what you may call 'birthday blues'(April is my birth month), but I'm not feeling blue at all.

Next month, it would be nine years since my early retirement from teaching. I chose to retire in my 40th year because I was no longer happy. I got sick often because of that. Choosing domesticity over being a career woman is a BIG crossroad in my life, but somehow I managed(w/ the help of my family of course). Some are envious because I'm lucky I could afford it, many thanks to my husband whose a good provider.

Pero lahat may kapalit at hindi ganoon kadali. I chose this path but a lot of adjustments have to be made. First, I have to let go of my love for shopping and traveling. When I was teaching, I need to shop monthly for my closet, a blouse or shoes perhaps. I feel empowered because I have my salary and I think I deserve it. Now, I don't get to do it as much. Saan ko naman yun gagamitin? I only shop when I feel the need to do so. I have come to terms that the stress level I had then, I won't swap with the blissfulness I have at present. 

Looking back, I'm glad I had my fair share of places I 'conquered' early on, lovingly tucked in my memory bank(yung totoo?) and printed photos. It's an added joy that I did that because of the "love" for it, and not just to show off or to keep up with the joneses. Sa part na ito, I'm in a 'been there, done that' kind of attitude na. My sisters are actually surprised, because they know how wanderlust I am. Haha.

Second, I could fully embrace domesticity now. Noon, it bores me hundred percent just thinking about it. I feel I'm a useless human being whenever I'm at home. I have a very active personality that's why. Yun pala channeling that energy lang pala ang kailangan. Now, I use it productively with my daily dose of domestic activities(household chores included)- cooking/baking, gardening, blogging, interior decorating and not to mention my love for exercise. I'm thinking of adding sewing as my next hobby. 

Third, I downgraded effortlessly. It came to me that for now, I want things to be simple and basic. Example, I drive my car but I could ride a public transportation now more often. I enjoy shopping now in wet and flea markets, Baclaran or Divisoria. I could go the the mall nowadays and depart from there without buying anything, yet not feeling sorry for myself. I like to think that my financial literacy has a big effect on me. As much we like dining out occasionally, I appreciate home cooked meals much better. Healthy, clean and cheaper. My affection towards jewelry napalitan na ng teacup and plate collection(this, I'm a work in progress). With material things ang dami ko pang gusto bilhin. Like everyone else, I want a bigger house, I want new furniture but I'm very grateful that my family has a roof over our heads now and we don't pay rent. For that alone, I should stop desiring for a bigger house right? I chose to beautify it instead by gardening and propagating plants. One of my goals is to spend the first day of my golden year in a place I want to see ever since I can remember. Matagal pa yun kaya ayoko muna isipin baka ma-stress na naman ako. Malay ko, baka mamaya may mag-sponsor. Haha. I just want to focus on how could I save up on a daily basis instead. When I see that my savings are growing, I feel joyful instantly. Tiwala lang.

My point here being? Kung saan ka happy, doon ka. If you're happy being a career woman, so be it. We choose our own happiness. Life is good when we OWN and LIVE it. If you have the freedom to choose, you're highly favored na. Remember, not everyone could be given this chance. If you're still in a limbo, discernment and prayers could help you, too. 

Happiness couldn't be absolute, but you can stop chasing it starting today.  Of course, problems(financial, work, family or marital related) won't go away but we don't have to beat ourselves up. Start by counting your blessings and focus on the positivity; that life could get better but we need to ACCEPT and APPRECIATE what we have now by NOT attaching our happiness to any material thing, traveling or weight loss goal or any future milestones. Because sometimes, these are the immediate causes of our stress and source of unhappiness. Sometimes we need to let go and learn to adapt.