when you're 'jobless'

The last five years whenever I'm out with friends or even with former co-teachers which are rare times, these are the frequently asked questions thrown at me:

• Mabuti hindi mo namimiss magturo?
• Doña ka na. Anong ginagawa mo? Buti di ka nabobore?

And these are my automatic replies...

• Obviously, I don't miss it. Yung mga katrabaho and students oo sometimes, pero the institution and the routine, no.
• I'm no way a Doña. My hands are full. I don't  have a maid. I'm the family's Housekeeper, Cook and Secretary of Budget. I blog, bake, go to the gym or workout here at home and goes out of town six to seven times a year. The last four hindi ko na sinasabi.

Minsan kapag binabalikan ko o pilit na in-analyze like today, hindi mo maiaalis isipin na if you're not part of the so called work force, parang you're lesser as a person. Good thing before I finally plunged on this 'early retirement' of mine, I'm secured enough to be myself. I have juggled work and family life for 18 years. I tried to be professional and the best employee that I could be. This might be the reason why I was given Superiors na mababait. I didn't have a hard time finding a job unlike others. I gave credit to where credit is due in terms of how I treat my students. Blessed too, that I didn't get into any major problem that is common to a teacher-student-parent relationship. This last one, ang dami kong kuwento sana pero this deserves many posts.

Right now, I don't feel envious. I feel contented. 'Been there, done that' ang peg ko. I might not have that much money that some people have, but I can't exchange that with the stress and unhappiness I get when I was still working. Baka mapunta lang sa medications yung sweldo ko. I remember when my son was still a baby sabi ko noon ang gusto ko lang maging housewife and mom. But life happened. Alongside with the perks of my job, naging scholar ko naman ang anak ko. His tuition fee is free. Bonus pa na magkasama kami at nababantayan ko siya sa school.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this is for everyone. Other people are more energized and feels valuable when they're working. That's natural as a human being. To each his own, I guess. Naranasan ko na rin kasing maging on autopilot yung trabaho ko which means I'm no longer happy, much more inspired. I've reached a burnout. I'm blessed that when I decided to be in this state, we were emotionally and financially able na. Thankful that I have a very supportive/understandable husband and family, too. I hope they appreciate what I do for them every single day. And that's what I value most.